I think I’ve been here before….

You are probably wondering who the heck I am as its been so long since I posted anything in blogland, it’s been months, well actually its been 8 months as I last posted on here in January right at the beginning of the brand new year, and here I am posting again at what is almost the end of the year (3 months to go)…

So why now? Well why not; I mean ya gotta do it sometime and you know that they say….better late than never! So here I am, fashionably late, but finally doing a blog post and typing nonsense to myself again, time to pick myself up off the floor and learn to type all over again.

I’m really happy that I’m finally back into making art, it just feels right if you get my drift but I must admit I have always had a real love/hate relationship with being creative and art; don’t get me wrong I love to create.  There is nothing I enjoy more than to sit and play with paints and papers, to throw inks and glue and to experiment with techniques to see what happens when you mix X with Y. That part I love. But on the other hand I’ve always been filled with a deep self doubt; why am I doing this? Am I good enough? Am I just wasting good paints and paper and committing art crimes?

I’ve always admired artists who have both the confidence and convictions to create and promote themselves as professional artists, they always seem like they know where their direction is, where they are headed at. Where someone like me feels like I’m reading the road map upside down or I’m paddling in the deep end of the pool and should stay firmly at the shallow end where I know my limitations and don’t feel out of my depth.

Then I read a blog post on Balzer Designs Blog by Julie; 15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY: ART VERSION, and it all suddenly started to make sense, I realised the only person who was holding myself back was me, I was too busy telling myself I wasn’t good enough instead of just going ahead and doing it anyway for arts sake if nothing else. who cares if it doesn’t mean anything, at least you created something!

With that in mind I’ve decided to give myself ARTISTIC FREEDOM; freedom to play, freedom to experiment, freedom to paint, freedom to fail, freedom to try…..no pressure, no worries, no expectations, just pure freedom to do whatever makes me happy or feels right.

And you know what?

I’m liking it so far!

I’m adding a picture of a home made canvas that I made right after I read Julie’s post, (these handmade canvases are created from up-cycled cardboard which I completely cover using glue and book papers to give them a nice workable surface, they are pretty tough and able to withstand many layers once the glue is dry.)

I incorporated the word FREEDOM into it; I know I’ll be using this word a lot in my artwork as I’ve made it my new mantra!


7 thoughts on “I think I’ve been here before….

  1. Yay!! I knew you would be back. Had no doubt. And I’m so happy you are going to fight your own self-doubt. I’m sure all creative people suffer from that aggravating condition.

    I always say I’m not artistic, I’m crafty. As a non artsy, but crafty person it’s people like you who give us inspiration and goals to strive toward as we attempt to create our own version of your art. I’ve followed you for years and will continue to do so – even when I have to wait for a bit. I have learned a lot from your tutorials over the years.

    By the way, I love your “expression of freedom” canvas.

  2. Hi,Trish~
    Nice to hear you’re back! Yes, our selves can be our own worst critics. I love the new “Freedom” canvas! The other thing you’re really good at is writing…you have the skills and the heart and the voice! As my Mama would have said, “Rejoice…and stagger on!”
    Judi Middleton, Ohio

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